February is usually not a fun month for me and I use it for re assessing my work. Now that winter has set in, I long for spring and summer. Luckily my studio is in the basement and has no windows. As much as I would love to have natural light in my studio the benefit is to not know what the weather is. If it is cold and dreary, I can work without concern. If it is nice and warm outside, I won't be tempted to stop working. Either way, I get my work done.
I have been experimenting with collage lately. After studying with Beryl Taylor last summer, I rediscovered my love of paper I took an inventory of my supplies and realized how much paper I had! This was collected over the years and stored away. I also have a lot of litho prints that are left over from when I owned a gallery. They are old, out of date and I have no idea what to do with them. They are not appealing to me or anyone I have shown them to. Everytime I go into my storage area I stumble over the enormous print rack stuffed with prints in plastic sleeves. These are a sore spot for me but I can't bring myself to pitch them.
Recently I decided to gather all of my paper, ephemera, paints, embellishments, etc. and set up for collage work. I have two wall paper books and watercolor paper. I was thinking of what else I could add and then it dawned on me: The prints! Do I dare tear them up?? Is this against some "art law". It felt like it was however; I decided it was
only paper and began to tear!
How cathartic that was!! I started with the ones I liked the least. The Civil War officers had haunted me long enough. After I tore them and made fabric paper with them, Robert E. Lee never looked so good to me! I was so excited that I gained a whole new level of interest.
I made two large sheets, about 36" x 30", of fabric paper using both the wall paper and prints. Both were nice and thick and when the sheet was finished and dry it had the feel of leather.
Next I had to start making little bits of miscellaneous ephemera and painted papers to have a collection to draw from. Now some of the weird embroidery thread and junky costume jewelry can be considered. All of a sudden many of those things I saved or bought, but didn't know why, became useful.
All of this preparation took longer than I expected. I started out with my favorite design of a Kimono. Using a nine patch as a layout, I proceeded to make nine little kimonos; how tedius this was! Fiddling with the tiny pieces and details wore me out quick. I am accustomed to working fast and spontaneously. I vascilated back and forth because I also love details. As I plugged along, I had second thoughts about this working style; I wasn't getting anywhere. The kimonos looked nice but the layout was to structured and had no focal point. My work room was a mess and I was not enjoying myself. I felt the frustration building and knew any time I could easily abandon all of it. I needed something to click; and low and behold, it did.
I was hesitant to cut into the wonderful sheet of fabric paper I had made; it was a work of art alone. However there was one section that I thought stood out, so I cut that part out. I did not like the mechanical look of the cut edge and I knew I needed to change that. I decided to use my favorite motif-
leaves, and make a variety of leaves with multiple materials.
Now things were coming together. I knew I was on a good track. All of this took about three weeks of pondering, creating and gathering.
Once my mind was open, new thoughts rushed in. This moment was what I was hoping for. I am enjoying this process now. I have hope I can continue along this path for a while.